Our generation races into affairs way too often.

Sexual desire is becoming far more valuable than empathy. Isn’t that absurd?

Physical connections are important, but they don’t determine the quality of a relationship.

The problem is that we view affection as separate, something that we can’t seize without a romantic partner. But that’s not true!

Love exists so purely around us, in different ways:

—The doctors and nurses delivering you and caring for your health is love.

—Your mother’s dedication to raising you.

—Your father’s presence.

—Your parent’s financial contribution to your education.

—Your friend’s “I miss you.”

—The lady’s “You have a nice smile.”

—The universe holding your hand is passion.

—The barista’s “enjoy your drink”

The list goes on!

Love resides in such small details, all around us.

Your body’s purpose to keep you alive, is that not care?

The Earth allowing us to walk on it, what do you call that?

The animals who accept us no matter how evil we might be that affection!

So, why do we view relationships as far superior to the romance which exists around us?

Why do individuals abandon everything once they get into a partnership?

And why is love becoming so superficial, so “dark”?

People don’t open their hearts to just anyone, they meticulously select their friends as we’re some oranges stacked at the farmer’s market.

Do you know what would make me block you?

—If you degrade me, my family, the humans I care about or my past.

—If you don’t have the fundamental morals and values (racism, homophobia, sexism, etc.)

—If you straight out physically hurt me or the individuals I appreciate.

—If you’re a danger to me or the people I love.

Basically, that’s it.

See where I’m going with this.

Why would I block you just because we had a “confrontation”?

I fight with my mother on the daily, do I just stop communicating with her?

My dog annoys me so much, but I still care for him.

This idea that a connection needs to be 100% is incredibly false.

There should exist more love in our mundane life!

What’s so bad with inviting someone out for a meal without expecting beyond that?

Let’s go out for coffee and just reside in this moment, no stress for future dynamics.

Have we stopped to consider the beauty which dwells in physical presence? Not sexually, but a body beside you. No conversation needed.

Breathing. Moving. Observing.

There exists so much pressure on finding “perfection” in our interactions with individuals. Why?

The universe will not leave you alone. Recall the moment you thought you had no one. Remember the time you felt extremely desolate. Count all the people that have come and disappeared! Understand that you will not be forlorn. Never.

So, breathe! Just enjoy these simple interactions. The “hello, how are you” from your classmates. The familiar faces we meet daily, the silent greetings!

I know I’ve headed too far into my rant, but it all connects back to this idea of going from one extreme to the other during a relationship.

I’ve endured things most people haven’t. Yet I haven’t experienced what most individuals have.

And I understand how violent humans can be. How loudly they yell slurs at you, how hard their scratching and pulling become.

And I’ve faced the periphery some reach. The ones who step out of a human state, those who, “lose it.”

When you see the extreme of human nature, you begin to perceive that someone cancelling plans with you doesn’t make them “bad.”

I knew a girl from College, and we’ve had some good time together.

I didn’t comprehend her privilege and the way she dismissed her blessings. I didn’t also enjoy some of our talks as she seemed a bit ignorant sometimes.

After she had breast reduction surgery, I decided to cut ties. I didn’t block her or ignore her messages because that’s unfair. I told her the following: “I appreciate the time we’ve spent together, but as you know, I’m still at the initial steps of Eating Disorder therapy. Body modifications trigger a part in me that I’m working hard to let go. I wish you all the best, and I hope we can continue this friendship another time.”

That was at the end of 2020.

I was just exhausted from this interaction.

A month ago she messages me asking if we could meet, and I evaluated my mental state. I agreed to meet with her!

See where I’m going.

I know she’s not a bad person; she just has some qualities I didn’t enjoy. And I have qualities she doesn’t appreciate as well.

We both needed time apart.

I didn’t talk bad about her. We didn’t block each other or unfollow each other. I didn’t delete her number. She’s not bad.

And now we can continue our kinship in a much healthier way.

The beauty in that is that neither of us felt any pain. It didn’t feel as if we’ve lost a friend, it just felt like taking a deep breath and coming back.

This is the philosophy I adopt in all my interactions (not the toxic ones of course).

And that’s what I hope to do in my more serious relationships.

If my significant other “cheats” on me, I will never just storm off. I need to hear them speak. I need to understand that we both exist in this connection, we both require respect. If I were in their place, I’d want my significant other to listen to me. Mistakes happen. Human mistakes. And we have choices, I can choose to move along or stop. But why would I start treating my significant other as a “monster”? Yes, they’ve caused me pain, but I’ve caused them pain as well.

The people most important to me have caused me pain as well.

(Please note that I’m referring to human mistakes, not inhumane ones. I don’t tolerate physical or verbal violence. None!)

I appreciate the people who have accompanied me during periods of my life.

And I thank them for the love they’ve shown me, and I choose to let go of the pain they might’ve caused.

If anyone has made the decision to leave me out of their life, I respect that decision and move on.

I communicate my worries, irritations and anxieties during my relations with others. I don’t hold on to certain emotions, why would I?

If I miss you, I will tell you.

If you’re being mean, I will tell you.

Bottom line is, people are so dramatic. Basically, we exaggerate A LOT.

And I don’t know why it’s so hard to slow, listen, observe, evaluate and act.

What is this new obsession with having the “perfect” relationship? And why are we taught to “block” our past companions? We can walk away without causing further pain and confusion. We can choose to have a conversation, have a chance to say “goodbye.”

Why do we take that chance away from one another?