Anxious Thoughts

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Welcome,

I’m Yara — a queer Syrian-Palestinian writer and literature student living in Canada. This space gathers my thoughts, stories, and reflections on language, humour, and belonging.
Here, words move between Arabic and English, between memory and imagination, seeking connection across distance.

  • Checkpoint Poetics: What a Soviet Poet Taught Me About Moral Resistance

    Checkpoint Poetics: What a Soviet Poet Taught Me About Moral Resistance

    May 10, 2025

    I’ve been thinking a lot about borders; the literal ones drawn across maps, manned by uniformed strangers. And the metaphorical ones—the quiet, invisible lines we learn to draw within ourselves when speaking too loudly,…

  • The Fools Who Rule: A Brief History of Power and Absurdity

    The Fools Who Rule: A Brief History of Power and Absurdity

    March 15, 2025

    There’s something darkly mirthful about power. Not the kind of hilarity that leaves you breathless from laughter, but the kind that makes you exhale sharply through your nose and mutter, “You’ve got to be…

  • The Thing in the Walls [DRAFT]

    The Thing in the Walls [DRAFT]

    March 8, 2025

    It began with the smell. A strange thing, really—how the body notices something before the mind can name it. At first, I thought it was dust—or old wood. Or something left too long in…

  • Struggle for Identity: Navigating Assimilation and Ancestry | Poem

    Struggle for Identity: Navigating Assimilation and Ancestry | Poem

    June 8, 2024

    The author grapples with proving their existence in face of assimilation. They express longing for their roots and the challenge of preserving their identity in a world that distorts and erases it. The poignant…

  • Fraudulent Peace: Why the Two-State Solution Doesn’t Work

    Fraudulent Peace: Why the Two-State Solution Doesn’t Work

    April 25, 2024

    Background The Israeli-Palestinian conflict embodies a stark injustice, with Palestinians enduring decades of dispossession, displacement, and occupation. Rooted in colonialism and ethnic cleansing, this asymmetrical struggle epitomizes the denial of Palestinian rights and sovereignty.…

  • The Doves of My City

    The Doves of My City

    March 9, 2024

    Over the mountain, my doves breatheSmuggling jasmine roses to the cityThe smell of spring, mixed with enmityIn a vase, I stash my rosesnestled between my sheetsEvery petal – aligns a memory in meWhen the…

  • There to Here

    There to Here

    January 20, 2024

    From there, I once believed bullets could pierce the clouds, shatter the skyVinegar chips meld with a zaatar mankoushe, biting Wednesdays and chocolate croissantsPunctuated weeps,”Mama, can we get ka’ak tonight?”Behind the wheel, Baba immerses…

  • From Alawite Heritage to Ancient Christmas Traditions

    From Alawite Heritage to Ancient Christmas Traditions

    December 23, 2023

    A Journey Through Unique Beliefs and Global Celebrations Growing up in the rich tapestry of Alawite heritage has been a journey steeped in resilience and unique religious practices. Originating from the Canaanite people in…

  • Book Review: “Minor Detail” by Adania Shibli

    Book Review: “Minor Detail” by Adania Shibli

    November 28, 2023

    Adania Shibli’s “Minor Detail” masterfully unfolds as a stark narrative divided into two acts, past and present, both haunting and unnerving. The Nakba, symbolizing the Palestinian catastrophe during Israel’s 1948 War of Independence, serves…

  • Excerpt from “Rebirth”

    Excerpt from “Rebirth”

    November 7, 2023

    Do you remember how you used to slap me if I cried? I’ve come to understand that perhaps you were imitating your mother’s brash touch, and that it wasn’t your fault. It’s taken me…

  • Miniature Biography

    Miniature Biography

    October 5, 2023

    I asked my mother to make me a tiny piano out of fuzzy beads. Want to see? With one eye closed, I see mother. And with the other eye closed, I see father. And…

  • Narrated for You

    Narrated for You

    October 3, 2023

    insert my name, and I activate. A misunderstood poem, i’m only a song A tune you liberate in your studio; i’m nothing without your name just a corrupted audio. Words reform in your notebook,…

  • Rebirth – Excerpt

    Rebirth – Excerpt

    September 28, 2023

    Amidst shattered homes and echoes of muffled gunfire, life as a Syrian refugee was an unending cycle of resilience and despair. Death, once a distant spectre, has now woven its sombre threads into the…

  • Bad Dates (Repost)

    Bad Dates (Repost)

    September 26, 2023

    Crippling conversations, words stagnant and rancid on the tongue Examen every corner of the cafe, occasionally outlining your features the strand of hair poking out of your head, defying attempts to tame it, taunts…

  • Writer’s Journal #10

    Writer’s Journal #10

    September 21, 2023

    You stroll through the lively park, basking in the warm sun and the gentle rustling of leaves in the breeze. Amid the bustling crowd, people immersed in their own worlds, a sense of tranquility…

  • My Grandmother was the River (Repost)

    My Grandmother was the River (Repost)

    September 19, 2023

    She drapes her boughs around my fragile frame as she kneads my hair. Her fingers mimic a rhythmic pulse, unmatched by any other element of nature. She tells me I have my mother’s hair,…

  • Rebirth – Excerpt

    Rebirth – Excerpt

    September 16, 2023

    In the midst of shattered homes and echoes of distant gunfire, life as a Syrian refugee was an unending cycle of resilience and despair. Death, once a distant specter, had now woven its somber…

  • Can You Turn the Faucet off?

    Can You Turn the Faucet off?

    September 14, 2023

    Drip, drip, a rhythmic tale the house whispers in anxiety’s defense a story untold, a narrative within its walls Voices barge through A subtle prompt, a dual-edged sword both plaguing and soothing, tension unfolds…

  • Possibilities

    Possibilities

    September 9, 2023

    It requires an immense amount of courage to adapt to the trivialities of life, to find strength in the mundane. How do you do it? How do you navigate through the complexities of existence…

  • I Hate Her

    I Hate Her

    September 2, 2023

    the silence stretches between us pushing our bodies to shore, we exchange bland words bitterness lingering on our tongues and, our hands haven’t encountered yet a magnetic force both pulls and repels drawing us…

  • Cigarettes and Lovers

    Cigarettes and Lovers

    August 29, 2023

    his lips are addicted to the taste of nicotine and coffee, a penchant for bitterness he embraces – the tendrils of smoke every 27 minutes [and yes, I’ve counted each fleeting minute] his gaze…

  • Journal Entry – August 14th

    Journal Entry – August 14th

    August 26, 2023

    I find myself within the confines of a café in Downtown Montreal, the ambient chatter of patrons serves as a backdrop to the storm raging within me. My phone becomes both a lifeline and…

  • My Window Overlooks There

    My Window Overlooks There

    August 22, 2023

    through the window’s pane a fleeting glimpse of life’s snare curiosity’s flame yearns venturing realms is it a spirit craving an elusive taste escaping the confines of solitude or is it comfort, of the…

  • Journal Entry – July 2022

    Journal Entry – July 2022

    August 19, 2023

    Reflections on August 2023 In 2021, I experienced a year of goodness and warmth, a period that now seems like a distant memory. As I reflect upon the timeline of my life, August 2023…

  • Survivor’s Guilt

    Survivor’s Guilt

    August 17, 2023

    Amidst shattered homes and echoes of muffled gunfire, life as a Syrian refugee was an unending cycle of resilience and despair. Death, once a distant spectre, has now woven its sombre threads into the…

  • Tapestry of Human Existence

    Tapestry of Human Existence

    August 15, 2023

    Freedom, a wild dance of liberty the untamed rhythm of boundless possibilities a zephyr of self— the essence Freedom, a majestic albatross Unfettered— by earthly constraints, Effortlessly, boundless firmament aspirations take wing a captive’s…

  • Ode to Palestine

    Ode to Palestine

    August 12, 2023

    Hazel’s strands burble down her spine, seizing the Jordan River Stacked with bare feet, toddling her back, she’s an orphan river Wide hips and slender waist, curves emulating the streets of Ghaza Grandmother, can…

  • Writer’s Journal #2

    Writer’s Journal #2

    August 10, 2023

    Prompt: You are out walking through an isolated field and you stumble upon a small flag poking out of the ground. You walk over to the flag and decide to start digging. You can’t…

  • Hard to Love – Part II

    Hard to Love – Part II

    August 5, 2023

    In the tapestry of life, some dance in the spotlight, their names etched in golden letters upon the hearts of others. The chosen ones are the recipients of love’s tender caress, and they bask…

  • Letters to Him – Part III

    Letters to Him – Part III

    August 3, 2023

    we meet once more, you seem smaller or I’ve grown tall I’m now a woman, you claim, yet you adore the little girl you once desired, enthralled I clench my teeth, forced smile on…

  • He tells me not to love

    He tells me not to love

    August 1, 2023

    he tells me not to love too fiercely afraid of shattering fragile glass as the moon swells, i ask it to shimmer on him hoping it might numb his pain igniting love once again…

  • Voicemails

    Voicemails

    July 25, 2023

    “Hello, you’ve reached Lama. I’m currently unavailable to answer your call. Please leave a message, and I’ll return your call at my earliest convenience. Thank you.” “Hi, it’s your sister. I have some sad…

  • Conversations with God – Part III

    Conversations with God – Part III

    July 20, 2023

    Always beneath your feet I find myself, begging for forgiveness, I don’t deserve I ask for mercy, for I’m a lost soul, seeking belonging in your creation’s curve Yet this place you’ve produced, I…

  • Pine Trees

    Pine Trees

    July 18, 2023

    The trees whisper secrets of desolate parks and abandoned streets Pine trees stoically endure the drought’s relentless grip Keeping their distance, their branches cautious, never to entwine In the tangled pleats of uncertainty and…

  • Ticks

    Ticks

    July 4, 2023

    Trembling fingers hover, poised above the expanse Weathered and chapped, edges frayed and worn, – In a resonant harmony with the ticking clock, the letters rise As my fingers grow nimble, setting them free,…

  • Rebirth – Excerpt

    Rebirth – Excerpt

    June 29, 2023

    Chapter One: The Early Phase IN PROGRESS December 2014 “Yara,” my mother called, beckoning me from the depths of my dimmed room. I lay on my bed, feeling the weight of the world pressing…

  • Book Review – A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

    Book Review – A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

    June 24, 2023

    A Thousand Splendid Suns is an extraordinary work of historical fiction that captivates readers from the first page to the last. Khaled Hosseini’s ability to craft deeply layered characters, evoke powerful emotions through vivid…

  • Bad Dates (Revised)

    June 22, 2023

    Crippling conversations, stale words taste rancid Examen every corner of the café, occasionally outlining your features The strand of hair poking out of your head, defying attempts to tame it, taunts me, I can’t…

  • There is a boy on the moon, and he calls for me every night

    There is a boy on the moon, and he calls for me every night

    June 20, 2023

    Every night, I have an unyielding ache- a homesickness – for the boy who finds solace on the moon, distant and faint. One fateful night, he sailed across the velvet sky, guiding me away…

  • Hard to Love – Part II

    Hard to Love – Part II

    June 17, 2023

    In the tapestry of life, there are those who dance in the spotlight, their names etched in golden letters upon the hearts of others. The chosen ones, are the recipients of love’s tender caress,…

  • how do people fall in love?

    how do people fall in love?

    June 15, 2023

    the silence between us stretches, a vast expanse that widens our separation we exchange bland words, leaving a bitterness on our tongues and, our hands have yet to meet, yearning for a touch unknown…

  • Apologies

    Apologies

    June 10, 2023

    I apologize, mama, for peering through the tapestry of your wrinkles I apologize, baba, for concealing you beneath woven rugs I apologize, khaye, for contorting your limbs to mirror my own Forgive me, asdiqa,…

  • Unread Love Letters – III

    Unread Love Letters – III

    June 8, 2023

    It requires an immense amount of courage to adapt to the trivialities of life, to find strength in the mundane. How do you do it? How do you navigate through the complexities of existence…

  • June 6, 2006 – June 6, 2023

    June 6, 2006 – June 6, 2023

    June 6, 2023

    Seventeen years has slipped away since the June 2006 Beirut war, yet its weight still rests heavily upon my shoulders. As I mark this solemn anniversary, memories surge like relentless waves, threatening to engulf…

  • The June War of 2006

    The June War of 2006

    June 3, 2023

    Excerpt from “Rebirth” The scorching June nights were merciless, but my mother’s touch had a soothing effect. She would wave her hand in a futile attempt to create a cooling breeze, her compassionate heart…

  • Journal Entry – April 7,2022

    Journal Entry – April 7,2022

    June 1, 2023

    My cousin’s visitor visa was rejected two months ago, a fact I have concealed from him until now. The weight of this secret has rested solely upon my shoulders, unshared with even a single…

  • Cheque, Please

    Cheque, Please

    May 27, 2023

    I glance at my phone, double-checking that it’s exactly 8 p.m. We agreed to meet at 9, but being early is always better, right? The minutes tick by, and the impatient waitress shoots me…

  • Rebirth

    Rebirth

    May 25, 2023

    Introduction We journey through life with the belief that we’re granted a single start, a blank canvas upon which we imprint our footsteps. From the moment we draw our first breath, our personal chronicles…

  • There’s something so inherently tragic about surviving.

    There’s something so inherently tragic about surviving.

    May 20, 2023

    There’s something so inherently tragic about surviving.

  • The Animal with My Face

    The Animal with My Face

    January 6, 2026

    [A literary, modernist-inspired psychological gothic vignette with feminist and speculative undertones.] It began in silence. Not the sort that follows noise, but the kind that has always been there and waits to be noticed.…

  • Alberta’s Book Ban: A Dystopian Reality

    Alberta’s Book Ban: A Dystopian Reality

    September 13, 2025

    They say words have power; in Alberta this fall, they are also being held accountable. The weight of this power is evident as classics such as 1984, The Handmaid’s Tale, and Brave New World…

  • Decoding “Sinners:” A Vampire Film with Cultural Depth

    Decoding “Sinners:” A Vampire Film with Cultural Depth

    May 29, 2025

    When Ryan Coogler’s Sinners hit theatres this spring, I expected style, atmosphere, and a dose of supernatural dread. What I didn’t expect was a politically charged, allegorical horror epic that tackles cultural appropriation, the…

  • John Hates Lemons

    John Hates Lemons

    May 15, 2025

    A literary short story inspired by Virginia Woolf Author’s Note The seed for “John Hates Lemons” came to me during a Jensen McRae concert. I went not for myself, but because a friend I…

  • Growing Up With Ghosts: On the Inheritance of Fear

    Growing Up With Ghosts: On the Inheritance of Fear

    April 10, 2025

    I was born long after the walls crumbled. After the fig trees were razed, the names of villages became footnotes or forgotten. And yet, I wake with dirt beneath my fingernails — soil I’ve…

  • The Power of Humour in Storytelling

    The Power of Humour in Storytelling

    March 13, 2025

    Stories have a way of sneaking into our subconscious, shaping how we see the world, how we remember the past, and how we imagine the future. But what happens when a story is wrapped…

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Anxious Thoughts

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© 2025 Yara Ajeeb
All rights reserved.
Quiet words for loud worlds.

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