I stood there

looking at my reflection

in a packed train,

moving fast enough for my face to become fragments,

a blend of aspects.

But I still saw myself.

A girl

a woman

someone

no one.

And I breathed in

for the first time

in a long time.

And that day,

I decided to stop breathing for a while.

Slip into a deep slumber.

She shifts her legs

juggles my words in her head for a while

then says

“Maybe some antidepressants could help”

And I bluntly nod.

Sure. 

I’ll take some pills.

Lock my past in my mind

Sure.

Anything to make me whole again.

I’ll take it.

I guess I have no time to heal

my bitty mind

one

by

one.

I guess, I have to ignore it for a while

Until the sun rises again

Until I learn to breathe again

And if the sun doesn’t rise,

Then that’s unfortunate.

I guess.

She closes her notepad,

smiles

and shows me to the door.

Once the 60-minute mark hits

I’m not a danger to myself anymore

I’m a numbered case

that rests between her files

Just another name

Another work day.