Dull eyes
Loud soul
Bouncing from one girl to the other
Existing in everyone
Everyone except me.
Tall figure
Broad shoulders
Telling me he cherishes me
As if I were jewelry
And I believe him
Love him back
Give him parts of me
Exist in him.
Only him.
And we fall in love
Like any two souls
Or I think we fall in love
I’m not sure anymore.
But he throws “love you” ‘s at me
And kisses me whenever I “act up”
Molds me into the perfect toy for him to enjoy
Shushes me when he’s bored
Loves me when he’s alone
And I happily dance for him
Sing and cry for him
Please him in any way possible
Too scared to leave him
Who am I without him?
And he erases my name
Gives me a new one
I forgot what my name was
But at least he’s having fun
And when I tell him that the nights are becoming darker
He suggests to light a candle
And when I tell him that the cut is getting deeper
He says that its not serious enough to care
And finally,
When I say that the days are becoming numbered
He tells me to stop chasing attention
Like a starving dog being offered a steak
And I apologize for my mistakes
Promise to be better
To hide better
To cry quieter
To die faster
And the “relationship” evolves
He has two other girlfriends and me on the side
Visits me to talk about his father issues
Sips on me slowly
I’m too hallow
An empty soul
Finally, I leave him.
Tell him I’m tired of hurting
Want someone to hold me
Not a man breaking me
And he explodes in anger
Says he wanted this since the day he met me
I’m a misery
A fallacy
A monstrosity
Too hard to love.
Never enough.
And he leaves
Takes part of me with him
Never felt whole again
And I wish I didn’t believe him
But its true,
I know I’m too hard to love, too.